


Fuck Up

by bunch_of_foxgloves



Series: im sorry lance [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Drugs, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:44:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunch_of_foxgloves/pseuds/bunch_of_foxgloves
Summary: In a rush, Lance realised he'd swallowed six painkillers.





	Fuck Up

**Author's Note:**

> since i can't tag shit on mobile, I'll give you a proper warning here. scroll past this if you don't think you need it.   
> the process of taking painkillers in itself is not described but the after effects and the thoughts of someone who just took a few more painkillers than the recommended dose are.

In a rush, Lance realised he'd swallowed six painkillers. Staring sullenly at his shaking fingers, he felt a sick grin overtake his face; he scratched furiously at the corners of it, willing it to disappear. What was wrong with him if he got pleasure from doing this? After a minute, he finally forced his mouth to settle into a neutral expression and sat calmly on his bed, listening to his accelerated heart rate and his heavy breathing. 

The packet was empty. But there were more in his drawer, if he wanted. Would this finally be the time he went too far? No, he'd promised Keith a good fight tomorrow, so he couldn't take more yet. Maybe if he took this many every day for two weeks, his organs would finally be done, damaged beyond repair in his digestive system. Obviously, it wasn't like he could predict what would happen. He only knew of symptoms he'd had - he might have had new ones by tomorrow. Maybe one day he'd puke blood. That'd be so weird, right? It'd be kind of fascinating in a way, being able to observe the symptoms of overdose first-hand. 

His interest in what would happen next only grew the further he fell into its trap. Really, he could quit any time he wanted to but he didn't want to quit gazing at the alluring illusion just yet. He could quit in a few days. He had complete control over what he did. He knew it was wrong but he also knew it was just another bad habit of his (and he'd already easily got over plenty of those). Honestly, it barely even qualified as a bad habit; it wasn't like Lance was addicted to cocaine or anything. 

Finally, his heart died down and he realised, with a sigh, that he didn't even feel any different. Sure, he felt a little drowsy but that was to be expected at this time of night. Next time, he'd have to take more. Afterall, he only did it to relieve stress and it didn't even have any effects like it usually did! Grumbling, he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, already regretting the pointless choice he'd just made. He fell asleep to thoughts of drowning in blood.

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write this for two reasons:
> 
> 1\. to vent.  
> 2\. to give you some insight. people do often know the harm they're doing to themselves, even if they underexaggerate it. they know they're wrong if they're the only one doing it; if they have a fear of telling others they know it must not be for no reason. we know, knew, whatever. it's also interesting. i know when i did this, though i was worried, i was deeply fascinated by my potential symptoms. 
> 
> if you have this problem, it isn't shit you can brush off guys. talk to someone. you matter. even if you're just one person in the universe, isn't everyone else just that too? no one is supposed to be perfect. we're all unfinished really - every day we change and all we are is a work in progress. feelings of being inferior are bullshit tbh.


End file.
